Hello,
I recently found out my husband frequents this blog so I thought I would post on here to see if my husband recognizes the events that just transpired. I am in a strange relationship at the moment due to my husband wanting to me to cuckold him. He always had this little fetish about me wearing soft fuzzy sweaters and dresses and the other ingredients for the fetish include crotchless tights. Being braless is another necessary part of the ensemble. He would have me walk around like this all day if he could but there's no chance haha.
The thing is I never really questioned why he liked this but since it turned him on it was easy for me to indulge him, seemed harmless enough since most people have their own particular preferred quirks.
About a year ago he started withdrawing from socialising on weekends; said he was overloaded with work being self-employed, so I began frequenting with some of my friends. He always suggested before I went out that I dress in this inspired look, telling me that we could have sex when I got back home. Eventually I started to become annoyed with this arrangement and I wanted him with me on weekends. After several arguments on one particular Friday night before going with my friends, in the heat of the moment I said I think will see if I can get lucky tonight.
His response was well give it go you might like it. No I didn't but when I came back in I thought I would make him jealous but telling him I kissed someone on the dance floor and their hands were all over me, 'Jesus' did that turn him on. I didn't tell him I was kidding but the next day I was kind of disturbed that the idea of this appealed to him so much but I decided I wasn't ready to have a conversation about what this could mean.
We are both in our early thirties with two kids and somehow if we discussed this I felt it could potentially become a Pandora's Box, so I shied away from it.
Time passed and it continued to nag at me; I don't have a particular friend I would want to confide that my husband gets turned on by me cheating. To be honest I have the kind of looks that attract men so I get hit on all the time by really good looking guys; so yeah I am normal and I am equally attracted to them but I am married so it's a no go. The knowledge that my husband would encourage me to be promiscuous frightens me; I don't believe any normal relationship can last in some kinky swinging life style.
Eventually it had to happen but not the way you would expect. Two years after I became aware of my husband's cuckold desires I told my story to a complete stranger, an overweight executive around sixty, he listened attentively and then he told me his life stories, which were very funny and I took the bait. Well along with one of my friends I share a taxi with him, she got out first and he was second and he said come in and see my etchings, photographs of Peru, somewhere I have always wanted to visit.
He returns the conversation to my problem and he says what's are the things that most trouble you about indulging in your husbands desires; I really didn't want to talk about it but I said my husband is a very attractive man but so are the guys that hitting on me, so therefore I would eventually become emotionally attached to them in some way, which would want me and I don't want to find myself part of some swinging life style. We have children, they require stability not a relationship held together by sexual whims; these are things you should indulge in before you are married.
He said how can you know what it will be like if you have never experienced it, even once, you might enjoy it. Yes I might and that's just what I suggested previously, that that life style is the very rock that I suspect many a relationship has been broken on.
Had another glass of champagne and we go back to looking at his photographs of Peru; a good while later and more champagne he returns to the 'subject'; he suggests why not try an older man where it cannot go anywhere other than sex, I should add I have now consumed a fair amount so when he puts his hand on my shoulder I suddenly feel ridiculously horny, which is strange since physically he is the opposite to me.
Somehow he knew, maybe it's because I did nothing to dissuade his hand from me but slowly he lets his hand drift onto my breasts. That was the clincher for him, you can guess the rest, I'm sure if you look up porn there will be a section for us haha.
The next day and for the rest of the week I was hot and horny every time I thought about it; this something I am not going to tell my husband or anyone else I know for that matter, although he may read about it here. This incident is still fresh in my memory six months on and I keep returning to it; usually begins with a feeling of disgust which gradually alters into sexual desire strange as it may seem. Thursday afternoon I didn't work so I ended up just masturbating, a thing I rarely did, but the sex I had with the 'old bear' has discombobulated me.
It's difficult to accept why such sexual activity is attractive when he is certainly not. Basically the desire is that fact that he is big, hairy and old and can dominate me, my husband is very good looking but physically we are the same size. More importantly if we were engaging in sex, and for some reason I suddenly decided that I wanted to stop then my husband would accept that, however this big old 'bear' well he would just keep going no matter what I said or did.
I am now in a sexual relationship with my boss, who is physically similar to my one night stand, I have tried to stop several times; my boss tells me I can end the relationship whenever I want, which is true.
Trouble is I keep going back, even when I am full self-loathing; somehow that makes it even more enjoyable. After it's over I feel disgusted by this animal desire that I cannot keep under control; it's so alien to me. My husband would probably love it but I won't tell him ... I'm sure he'll find out once this is on the blog.
Catherine
