Hello,
Hello everyone. I'm an international student in a graduate program at university. It's my first year in the US, and while I'm already engaged, I don't bring my partner here because she still has a job back home and we're not married yet. We're already in this relationship for 5 years, including engaged for 1 year. Some days ago, I found out that she has been cheating on me with her friend. I found out about it by deliberately looking at her messengers. I don't know the reason why they're using them, but maybe it's not the important thing. The cheating apparently already occurred for some months, and I found out that they are often going on dates and having sex in his apartment once in a while.
Actually, I met this "friend" of hers before I started my studying. He was a friend of hers friend back then, in which all of them often hang out together. I know that he's a good guy, and he surely knows about her engagement with me. I don't really know what started the affair in the first place, but I assume it's related to his attraction to her. Aside from his art-related works (which my partner really likes), he used to work out a lot, and he has a muscular body.
My GF often teased him by saying that his biceps looked like chicken thighs, but sometimes when both of us were alone, she encouraged me to go to the gym so I can be healthier and more attractive for her just like him. Maybe, I should know about the signs even before I left. One day (again, it was before my flight to the US), I hang out with him because he was having this art exhibition and my GF was really eager to come. In an after-party, he jokingly said that my GF and I should try swinging sometime.
We laughed because such an idea never came to our minds. However, he insisted that he would be interested in participating in a swinging with us because it would spice things up. I always assumed that it was just a joke before I found out about them.
After I found out about the affair, I've been routinely checking her messages, and it was crazy. At one point, my fiancee said that she's feeling guilty because she's cheating on me, yet she said that she started to develop an emotional attachment to him.
He replied by saying that I wouldn't know about them and he said that he also liked her for a lot of reasons. He also said that he didn't have any intention to wreck her relationship with me as long as they could see each other as usual. At one point, he invited her to his art exhibition and saying that "we can embracing each other's arts later that your fiance can't do."
She replied by saying that he's the best and I couldn't beat him in bed. As I scrolled through the messages, I found a lot of flirting that my fiancee did with him. She repeatedly said that she adores his body, his determined mind in doing art and working out, and his expertise during sex.
I've been trying to mention his name in our conversation lately. She never ditched the topic, and it seems like nothing happened between them. She mentioned his art exhibition that she attended, and so on.
Yesterday, I found out that she's been sleeping at his place, and I decided to call her to know her reaction. She picked up the phone and lied by telling me that she was at her friend's place, and this guy also was there. He even said "hi" to me and asked about my life in the US nonchalantly. He also said that some guys tried to approach her these couple of months and he fought these guys because he knows that she has a partner abroad.
The thing is, I always have this specific fetish on being a cuckold and seeing my partner fuck in front of me. Yet, it's all fantasy at the moment. On the one hand, looking through her texts and knowing that she's having an affair behind my back turned me on. It made me feel humiliated (in a good way), and it always turns me on to imagine both of them while they are having sex.
On the other hand, I don't know what do to do about all of it. Should I tell her that I know about all the things she did behind my back and I'm okay with it? I plan to do it today because I really want her to know that I know.
Yet, I'm afraid that it'd ruin our relationship, but again, I'm really interested if she'll tell all the things they do together.
Cuck_Abroad
