Hello,
I'm new to the cuckold community and I'm a cuckold in training. Recently, my wife and I were having trouble in our marriage. We don't have any children and I know that is a major concern of hers. We've been undergoing fertility treatments but they haven't worked. For about the past year I've suffered from a disorder called "delayed ejaculation" or "retarded ejaculation." Essentially, it means I can have sex (literally) for hours but still not cum through ordinary sex. Initially this seemed novel and cute, but my wife quickly began to take it personally and she began to believe that she was no longer attractive to me. I tried to explain to her that she was wrong, but she didn't believe me. The truth is that I have long had fantasies about being a submissive, sissy cuckold. When masturbating I would often search out cuckold stories and fantasize about being in the situations depicted. Then, when my wife and I would engage in ordinary sex, I would be very disappointed because I wasn't being fulfilled. I visited several urologists about the problem and they maintained that there was nothing physically preventing me from ejaculating and that I had some deep rooted psychological issue that was causing the delayed ejaculation. Finally, after months of denial I was inspired by the story of a friend of mine.
At dinner one evening after work, my friend explained to me that he had always fantasized about his wife smothering him with her ass. His wife is very conservative and (according to him) she is very traditional in their sex life. He said that every time they would have sex he would kiss her legs and rub her rear and try to tacitly encourage her to sit on his face. She never got the hint and dismissed his invitation to spice up their sex life. Finally, one day he sat her down and told her the truth about his fantasy. He told her that she was either going to "get it" or not, but that he couldn't continue to pretend that their sex life was good when he was not being satisfied. He also told her that he was telling her this to save their marriage.
He explained that other men would simply cheat on their wives or find a prostitute to act out their fantasy. He said that he didn't want her to wonder why he had left her when everything seemed to be fine in their marriage. He told her that from that moment forward she could no longer say, "I just don't know what is wrong, he doesn't open up to me." Now, according to him, she didn't say a word but merely grabbed him by the back of his hair and forced him to lay flat on his back facing the ceiling. She then used her free hand to unbutton her jeans and pull her pants and undies down to her knees and then she sat on his face. As she did so, she said, "do I get it?"
Since hearing that story several weeks ago, I began reconsidering my own situation. I have always felt self-conscious about my submissive desires. I've rarely disclosed them to anyone. On those rare occasions when I have talked about being a cuckold, it has been to strippers or other similar people who are outside of my ordinary sphere of influence. I've never expressed these desires to my wife and I realized after speaking to my friend that I've done her an incredible disservice. I love my wife and my fantasies always involve her, but I've never expressed that fact to her in a plain language, matter of fact manner the way that my friend did.
So, last week, my wife and I were lying in bed and I began kissing and fondling her to turn her on. I was succeeding but I could tell that she was apprehensive, because our recent sex sessions have become uncomfortable marathon missions due to my delayed ejaculation. Still, she was becoming aroused and as I began to move towards licking her taint, I told her that I just wanted to please her and that I would not try to have sex with her. She smiled and (I assume) presumed that was just saying that to put her at ease. When I had licked her to orgasm she began reaching for me to thrust into her, but I told her that I just wanted her to relax and enjoy the sensation of the orgasm she just had. She smiled again and covered herself in the comforter (it was cold) and then told me that she really enjoyed not having to worry about pleasing me. That's when I decided we would have our discussion.
I told her about my fantasies and how I just wanted to serve her. That I would do anything she wanted if she would just treat me like her slave boy. I could tell she was shocked because she had never heard anything like this come out of my mouth before. I also told her (as my friend told his wife) this is something that she was either going to "get" or not. But, I told her, I didn't see my life continuing without ever having these desires fulfilled. Amazingly, she reacted very well to what I was saying. (Truthfully, I went overboard with the "cuckold me or I'll leave you" ultimatum, but she got the point). She began asking me questions about how far she could take this. I told her that I wanted it to be a complete lifestyle change. I knew that she would see instant benefits (ordering me around), but I also told her we would probably go through many growing pains until she understood the sexual component of the lifestyle.
She asked me if I had ever told (my friend) about these desires. I told her that I had and she asked what his reaction was. I explained that he doesn't have cuckolding fantasies, but he is a voyeur and has expressed on occasions that he would like to watch his wife have sex with another man. To my surprise, my wife instantly turned to me and said, "I would be with other men." I couldn't believe she was telling me this, but just hearing those words come out of her mouth made me so hard I thought I was going to explode all over our bed. We talked for a while longer and she agreed to research the lifestyle and familiarize herself with ways to cuckold me.
It started with chores and after that, she made me prepare her lunch and take her shopping.
My wife works and we have separate bank accounts. We usually split all of the bills. When she wants something she usually buys her things and I buy mine with funds from our respective accounts. I've never cared for this situation, but my wife is an accountant and she is just wired that way. Well, this time, while we were shopping she explained to me that I would now buy everything she wants and pay all of the bills. She would either save the money in her separate account or use it for other things she desired. At first we both laughed when she would say these things, but I told her that she needed to start taking her role seriously or else it would ruin the experience for me. Pretty soon she understood and there were clear moments in the day when she really began to enjoy our new lifestyle.
We visited a clothing store that she frequents often and she picked out a number of items to purchase. After trying the items on she brought them to the counter to purchase them. I didn't think anything about this because we've gone to the Mall together so often I just assumed my wife would complete the transaction and we would leave. As usual, I stood nearby staring blindly into the sea of customers occasionally glancing at one or two women who I found attractive. When the store clerk finished scanning all of the items and read the total, my wife turned to me and said, "What are you doing? I'm not paying for this!" I quickly, snapped out of the haze and reached for my wallet. I didn't even think about how much I was spending, I just scanned my debit card and punched my pin without blinking. My wife giggled and turned to the girl behind the counter and said, "at least he's not completely worthless." I assume the clerk thought we were fighting, but all I could think about was my erection beginning to burst out of my pants. As we left the store, my wife snuggled close to me and said, "I didn't like how I had to tell you to buy those clothes for me, but we'll discuss that later." I knew by "discuss" she meant that she would punish me for my hesitation.
The rest of the week has been a series of events like the ones I described above. For instance, last night I prepared dinner for my wife and I and the process really took a long time. I had to make several trips to the nearby store to make sure we had all of the necessary ingredients. When I finished, I made each of us a plate and brought them to the table. As I served my wife's plate to her, she looked up at me and said, "No. You can wait until I'm through. In fact, I'm going out with some friends in a little while; you can wait until I've left the house to eat." I was starving. She told me to put the plate on the table, sit down on the floor and talk to her until she was finished and ready to go. I did as she had commanded. Several hours later, my wife had finished getting ready and she left the house to meet her friends for drinks. I was so hungry I raced to the kitchen and devoured the cold, ing food that was untouched on my plate. As I ate, I imagined that my wife wasn't going to meet friends, but rather that she was out with a lover who was pleasing her the way I never could. I fantasized that she would come home still smelling of his sweat and still filled with his seed for me to lick from her box. Sadly, we haven't reached that point, but I'm hoping things will progress quickly. In that regard, I've decided to write to this blog to chronicle our progress and hopefully, she will find out about this, read it and treat me accordingly.
Almost There
