This blog submission is going to be pretty long, because I want to cover my background, to kind of get the whole story and my own motivations out there. I'll also warn you that it is pretty light on the graphic sex up until the end and doesn't have a super-happy "everyone fucked everyone for the rest of eternity" ending, although it isn't a crash and burn ending really (luckily) either. It's worth a read if you're considering the lifestyle and have a reluctant partner.
Also I'd like to note that I've tried to be completely honest and not leave out some stuff I definitely would if telling this to people that know me. I've made mistakes, and I've done some shitty things, and I know that.
I'll start with myself. I wasn't much of a ladies man in high school, but I did manage to have a couple girlfriends toward the end of my senior year. The first I never got anywhere physically with besides kissing, but the relationship ended when I found out she had slept with a guy on a band cruise while we were dating (band girls) It did work out pretty well for me though, since it was right before prom and a co-worker's boyfriend had just dumped her.
She and I went together as friends, but that night I got lucky for the first time in my life. She was a year younger than me but much, much (much) more experienced. I forget the exact number, but she had gone down on somewhere around 25 guys. I was only the second guy she had actual sex with though, and that was after a couple months. I did find that I enjoyed having her tell me about her sexual past though, in as much detail as she would give me.
She and I got along well, but I had already been accepted to a college out of town and I was up front with her and told her I didn't want to do a long distance relationship type thing. She said that was fine, but when it came time for me to leave she threw everything she could at me to try and work it out. I held firm, though, and left a pretty upset "ex" (even though we never "officially" dated) behind.
She sent me some pretty friendly messages on facebook and what not for the first couple months I was away, but I didn't give her much back. When I started dating a girl at my college she got ugly though. Or she tried to. She started texting me graphic details about her hooking up with guys, including guys I knew, trying to make me jealous. It bothered me a little at first but I was also extremely turned on. It was even hotter than when she'd tell me about her past. Eventually, though, she gave up and moved on to someone else.
That new girlfriend and I had my first real serious relationship. Things were going pretty well until about a year in she came back to my home town to meet my parents. One night she left her facebook open on my laptop, though, and I saw that there was an unread message. It was nosy of me, and I can't defend my choice to do it at the time, but I decided to read it.
To rewind a little, when she and I started dating there was another guy that I knew was interested in her. They were really good friends and she assured me that she didn't have any feelings for him or anything. They had a ton of mutual friends so I knew they saw each other all the time, and I was fine with it. She and I were in love, and I was sure she wouldn't do anything.
I was, of course, wrong. The message was talking about some sort of kiss that the two of them had shared, and how he was glad that she had liked it. My heart was pounding. I was furious. She was the first girl that I had loved and she'd betrayed me. She had already gone to sleep in my parents' spare bedroom by the time I worked up the nerve to confront her. There was a lot of crying, mostly from her, in the (hushed) fight that followed. By the end of it I'd started down a dark path, agreeing to stay with her as long as she followed some 'rules.'
Again, I'm not going to try to justify some of the things I did in this time period, except to say that I was immature. She wasn't allowed to see him, even though that basically meant that she couldn't hang out with her friends because he was always there. She had to message him and tell him that she didn't want to talk to him again, ever. Things weren't really the same between us after that, and I got to be controlling. I realized she was miserable and eventually told her that she could hang out with her friends when he was there, but I wouldn't be joining them, and it couldn't ever be just the two of them.
And I was constantly suspicious. I'd question her about who all had been around when they were hanging out. Where they'd all gone. I was miserable too, and I knew the questioning annoyed her so I did it even more. Eventually I was in her dorm room one evening when she went to take a shower. I had just enough time to copy her AIM logs (dating myself) onto a flash drive to check on later.
I found what I think I wanted to find. If I hadn't wanted to find it I don't think I would have looked. She was seeing him again, but now there was no doubt they were going far past one kiss. She had sent him messages about her arms being sore from holding herself up on top of him. The one that got me the most was where she said she was sorry they couldn't have had sex one night because she was going over to see me, and he replied that he was perfectly fine with what he'd gotten.
This time I don't even know if 'anger' was one of the emotions that percolated to the top. I sent her a message telling her it was over. She started freaking out and asked why and I just responded "I know." Besides seeing her once about a week later to give her back some things she'd left at my apartment it was the last I ever spoke to her. But I found myself going back to the chat logs over and over, and masturbating while reading them, thinking about her fucking him. It was a massive, massive turn on. I never would have been able to forgive her for betraying me, but I was so turned on by it.
I dated a couple other girls in college, but nothing really relevant to the story at hand. I still thought about my ex often, sometimes upset and sometimes horny, and at one point feeling like I was stuck in a rut I deleted every email and message between she and I. I sort of regret that now, but I think it did help at the time. Fast forward about three years and I met my wife (H).
My wife's sexual background is a bit abnormal. She didn't lose her virginity, or even kiss a guy, until she turned 23. She did both on the same night. She decided she was in love with that guy and they dated for a little bit before he dumped her and started dating one of her friends. She continued to fuck her ex though, obviously behind her friend's back, for a few months. At one point she got tired of waiting for him and decided to try and make him jealous by sleeping with his friend. It did make him mad, but he still wouldn't dump his girlfriend. Eventually she gave up on him, and after briefly dating one more guy took a break from dating for about a year.
We met through online dating, and were pretty instantly a hit. We're both a little introverted, share a sense of humor, are insanely attracted to each other, and just seem to get along better than any other couple we know and certainly better than any relationship either of us had been in. She was a little shy at first physically and our numbers were pretty far apart, but she had a fairly kinky edge to her that led to some fun nights with handcuffs, whips and strategically placed sharpie pens.
She'd told me briefly about her exes but on a rare night after we had been married for about a year where she had been drinking she started telling me everything. She talked about the first time she'd had sex, and I told her how much it was turning me on. She started stroking me while telling me a few other stories. Eventually I couldn't contain myself and started fucking her while she talked. The sentences didn't all make sense after that but I didn't care.
Around this time I really started to get into cuckolding porn and stories, and I watched a few cheesy "Fuck my wife" professional porn videos with her. After a little while we started to role play it a little bit, with her telling me stories about times she and I had had sex, but using "he" instead of "you" in them. It was a massive turn on, and after a little while I couldn't stop thinking about her fucking another guy.
After a ton of consideration and around our second anniversary I decided to put the idea out there. It was a rough conversation. She was happy to play along with my fantasies, but she didn't really have a desire to actually go through with it. I assured her over and over that I would be totally ok with it, but she still wasn't interested. I let things chill for a few months, cutting back on our role playing (at least cuckold roles) while I tried to figure things out.
Eventually I came up with what I thought was a brilliant plan. I would give her a no strings attached hall pass. She could fuck another guy whenever she wanted, IF she wanted, and she didn't have to get my permission or anything to do it. I thought it was perfect; she could explore it if she wanted to, or just never go through with it. I wouldn't bug her about it anymore since I wouldn't feel the need to remind her that I was ok with it, and I could even pretend to myself that any time we were apart there was a chance she was under some other guy.
Fast forward another couple months. She and I have very similar work schedules, but her place of employment took a holiday off that mine didn't. I left her home alone and went to work. About midway through the day the electricity went off, though, and everybody was sent home. Normally I would have texted her to let her know I was on my way, but it slipped my mind and I walked into our apartment unannounced. I heard a male voice that sounded worried when I opened the door and said "Hey babe, home early today." My heart started racing. We live on the first floor, and as I slowly walked toward our closed bedroom door I heard the large window sliding open, then shut again. I opened the door and my wife was in our bed, naked, crying.
I rushed over to her and hugged her. "It's ok!" I told her, over and over. "I gave you permission! I'm not upset at all, I love it!" But it didn't stop the crying. I tried to kiss her but she shooed me away until she regained enough composure to take a shower and brush her teeth. When she came back out she was still pretty distraught. I reassured her some more and she calmed down a little, but by now I was having a little difficulty because I was extremely, extremely turned on. I wisely didn't make a move though.
Finally she started to tell me what was going on. This was the first time she'd used her 'hall pass.' She hadn't really wanted to, but she wanted to make me happy, so she decided to do it without me being there as a test run so that if she hated it she could just never tell me she went through with it. If she found that she liked it she could share the good news with me and we could start some experimentation with the lifestyle. She posted a discreet ad on an adult dating site about a week before the day she she knew I'd be gone, and got a fuckload of propositions. She picked a few of the most normal sounding guys and messaged them back, whittling the list down to one guy she felt pretty safe with.
At that time she didn't really want to go in to details about what they'd done, but later she told me everything. He'd showed up with a six pack of beer. They each had one (she hates beer, and doesn't like drinking very much period, so I know it was to calm her nerves) and just chatted on the couch. He opened them each a second one and started to get handsy, first touching her leg, then her waist, then gently rubbing her breasts. She told me that up until this point she hadn't been sure she'd be able to go through with it, but she got a little turned on, and a little tipsy, so she started to touch him back. First his face, then his chest, then his cock through his jeans.
They started to kiss and he stood her up, reaching his hand down her shorts, rubbing her pussy. She led him to our bedroom (shocked but not upset she picked that over the guest room) and pulled off her shirt and his pants. She started to go down on him, rubbing his cock with her breasts every once and a while. He didn't last very long, and after a couple minutes she had a mouthful of another guy's cum. Fun fact, she's great at oral, but I was only the second guy she went down on and the first that she let finish in her mouth. She doubled that second number that day.
They lay in bed for a little while, touching each other. He rubbed her pussy for a while which usually gets her off, but didn't this time. She was turned on but just wasn't 'there' I guess. After he rallied he slipped on a condom and climbed on top of her, the first cock other than mine to enter her in over four years. He lasted quite a bit longer this time, and after a little while they swapped and it was her turn to be on top. After a little while he finished again, and she curled up next to him. She said this was where she started to get upset.
Just about a minute later (by her estimation) was when I got home. The guy pulled his clothes on over top of the used condom and hightailed it out of there. He knew she was married, but not that her husband was ok with what she was doing. He climbed out the window (and had a much easier time of it than the time I had to jump out of a second story window when a girl's parents got home), ran to his car and disappeared.
And that's how we got started and where we still sit. In bed we'll relive what she did and it gets us both off really fast and she's starting to like the idea and says IF it happens again she wants me to know but wants to make all the rules. I'm not rushing her.