Hello,
About a month ago I was using my wife's laptop (she was in the process of uploading her huge collection of CD albums into iTunes and asked me to take over while she was away), and as I was on it I noticed her HD was a bit short on space.
I figured it was because she had some unnecessary trash lying around, so I decided to run Window's tool to clean up space... but that really didn't do much. Curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to see if I could figure out why it was so full... it was probably wrong of me, but waiting for iTunes to upload those CDs was so boring and I honestly thought I'd be doing her a favor.
It turns out that her VLC folder was 40GB. I thought "oh, maybe she just keeps her tv shows here" and moved on, but I eventually run into them in another folder called "movies"... so I went back to VLC thinking she must have some duplicated videos, only to find that well hidden deep inside the plugins/ui folder she had a bunch of videos called "123123213" or whatever. Some pictures too.
And those videos happened to be porn... starring her. Videos that occasionally go on for over 2 hours, where she basically fucks like crazy with strangers (at least to me).
They're all set in our bedroom and it looks like they were recorded on a hidden camera (she sometimes quickly looks at the camera, but I've never seen any of the guys do it, or mention anything that could make me think they knew they were being recorded). Looking at the decoration in the room, they're all pretty recent too.
At first I was completely shocked. Not mad or even hurt, just in shock. I watched and watched, completely forgetting about uploading the albums to iTunes, and I noticed her attitude during the videos. I won't say "she was enjoying it more than with me", but she was definitely really into it... pretty much like in our best nights (which we do still have, it's not like we're having bedroom problems).
It's obvious that she was getting off at either the fact she was cheating or she that she was being filmed. In every video she lets herself go, it's as if she's living a fantasy and she's focused on enjoying every moment of it. And I noticed that was turning me on. I watched for well over an hour until I just had to masturbate.
I haven't told her a word about it, but I've been obsessed with those videos ever since. Whenever she's away I run off to her computer to masturbate. And when I'm at work I keep thinking she might be fucking someone else at that very moment... it's quite a thrill that I still don't fully understand. Last week she added a new video to the collection and that completely blew my mind.
Sex with her has reached a whole new level of greatness now... she turns me on more than ever. It's amazing... it was always good, but now it's just so fucking amazing. And now I've began fantasizing about her cuckolding me live, right in front of me.
And here's where I meet my dilemma: should I tell her about this? I'm not sure how she'd react to it. She's so proud and tries to keep her problems, weaknesses, weird tastes, a secret... she'd probably feel ashamed, and I'm afraid that telling her would be a buzzkill and ruin this great sexual phase we're in. I'm also afraid that she might find it a turnoff that I'm into it.
I mean, I am the obedient type that lets her run the house for the most part, but I'm not overly submissive and she like's it when I stand my ground, make decisions, complain when the service at a hotel/restaurant/whatever isn't good and get something out of it, etc. I fear that she could react negatively to her man accepting her cheating.
That she'd see me as some kind of wuss and she might stop desiring me. There's also the possibility that she might stop enjoying the cheating if she knows I know about it.
You'd think that I should know what my wife would think better than anyone else, but that I just don't have a clue. I mean, we are very bonded, have a lot of fun and spend a lot of time together... everything is perfect and we've been like that for 20 years and yet I would have never imagined that she would cheat on me... let alone enjoy it like she does.
Heck, I wouldn't even have ever imagined that I'd be into this.
So I'm asking for some advice... any thoughts on this? Should I tell her? Wait a bit? Is the risk of ruining things big and maybe not worth it? I think I can wait or even completely live without my live-cuckolding fantasy ever becoming true, but I think it would be so amazing if it ever happened. Sorry for the long post, but I hadn't talked to anyone about this and I needed to get it all out.
Oh and by the way, the guys she invites over are definitely strangers that she probably meets online or whatever. The audio quality of videos isn't great, so understanding the small talk they have outside sex makes is a bit difficult, but it's clear they are strangers. I've also heard her say she isn't interested in "second dates" in several of her videos.
Thanks for hearing me out. Attached in this email are 2 of the pictures I found of her with someone else.
Mark
