Alright so I'm learning as much as I can from reading through this blog, but I wanted to put my situation out there and see how it looks, away from my mind and onto a website.
Basically the situation is that last year we moved up to Seattle and my wife took a job as a graphic designer...at a sex toy company. I'd say we're really vanilla and sex was never a really big thing in our relationship, but neither of us are really shy about it either so she didn't think it would be that big of a deal. It's not really, and she loves it, but almost everyone else there is super sexual and even kinky.
They're all also women, so they talk about stuff like 24/7.
Wife has become friends with a lot of them, which is awesome, they're all really cool people and a lot like us in a lot of ways and just incredibly good hearted. One of them that my wife is closest to is super open, super kinky, and a submissive - to a guy that's not her husband. After a while of them knowing each other she explained all this to my wife and said they have a cuckold relationship.
I've met her husband and he is an awesome dude but I get why he doesn't dom her, he's really shy and kinda nerdy (as is she) and he and I have become pretty good friends because we're very similar as well. We haven't talked about this though.
When my wife relayed all of this to me she basically said like her friend is living the dream, maybe we should try this too. I kind of laughed it off but she's brought it up a number of other times and last week she really said that she'd actually be interested in this if it's something I'm into. She wrote this pretty detailed story (we write fantasy stories to each other sometimes, I know, nerds) and it was honestly incredibly hot and I could totally see it happening and being amazingly turned on by it.
I think I'm also pretty naturally jealous feeling about the idea too and I also don't want it to be something she regrets or feels guilty about. We're both each other's only partners so I think that plays into both of us wanting this, and also the fear of it happening.
I'm wondering though sometimes, is this even cuckolding? It seems a lot of the blog posts here are about the woman being dominant over the man and telling him to be submissive, but in her friend's relationship that isn't the case per se. So I'm new at cuckolding and my first example of a couple like that are not typical. I don't know, or at least think, that my wife wants a dom per se but I think that the idea of her being with someone different in that way and maybe kinky or even really into sex is part of it - I wonder if that is part of it or if that is something else entirely? Not sure.
So I've been reading many of the past blog posts and joined the dating site here to talk with other couples about their experiences. I've also already read a ton of books on the suject and so has she. We learned a ton from the past stories and the books and they have given us a tremendous amount to talk about. It's been at least a 2 hours a night topic of conversation every day for the past two weeks. In some ways it made things much easier and straightforward, but it also made things seem more serious and less of just a "fun thing to try".
That's probably for the best though, it made us see how deeply this needs to be considered and just how many issues can come up during it.
I also talked about this to my wife's friend's husband (god that sounds like something out of "I'm my own grandpa") and that was probably the most awkward conversation of my life! Really though, once we got past the initial awkwardness it was really good. He came over and we split a case of beer and had a super candid conversation.
To anticipate questions, yes he does know, it's a big part of their sex life, and he likes it. It's definitely different than our situation in some ways, but similar in others, and was a great conversation and probably conversation opener.
So where does this leave us? Not sure yet but we've been talking about it with the intention of doing it.
We're not sure who with yet (no that's not a solicitation lol) - we made a list of people we know but no one is really up there on the list. She's considering talking to her friend about her Dom, but that might be weird too. Either way it's going to be someone local to us and probably from the sex dating site.
We're still trying to figure out if it will be a traditional thing with me there, or if I won't be (leaning towards that one). She's written another story which was exciting, so overall I'm pretty excited for the possibilities!
Thanks for reading! I welcome chat or questions, I'm here to work all this out!
Nerds - firstname.lastname@example.org