Hello,
So you have made some progress (read from the beginning), got things headed in the right direction. Now let’s talk about how to build on what you have accomplished, deepen your roots and integrate more fully the cuckold interest into your daily lives. One of the challenges to cuckolding at the level most couples fantasize about is that life often gets in the way. That means that in order for success, day to day life and the cuckold dynamic have to support and complement each other. Today we are going to begin by introducing two very easy and smart ways to do that: Making it Real and Bargaining.
How do you make cuckolding something more than a fantasy that is practiced only when there is time for it? The answer is that you make cuckolding work for you. My experience with couples exploring this area of interest is that the female half frequently just does not get the connection between requiring conduct, chores and actions that appear on their face to have no sexual component and cuckolding. To make matters worse, the male partner often does not recognize when the cuckold dynamic is being engaged (worse still, he often balks at it). Two things have to happen to Make it Real. First, the female half has to stop thinking in the context of traditionally sexy activities and simply ask herself what she wants. Sheesh, is that an overgeneralization or what?? No. It is not! Again, it almost does not matter what you want. What matters is that: 1) It is something you want, and 2) It is conveyed to your male partner in a way that makes it clear it is within the context of the cuckold dynamic. An early example of this was when I recommended the oversimplified exercise of getting your man to carry out your will three times a day. What I am now suggesting is that you broaden that. Slowly add requirements to the list. Begin by asking yourself some of the following questions: What would make my life easier if it was taken off my tray and handled regularly by my husband/partner? What does he do that I would like him to stop doing, or do differently? What, activity would simply be interesting or titillating for me to get him to do regularly?
Let’s look at some examples. First, of course, as mentioned in a previous post, there is the full range of household chores. As with everything we do, you can ease into even this. Timing is important. Wait until he brings up the cuckold dynamic. You won’t have to wait long as you know. Then share that you are tired of being the one who always runs the vacuum, empties/loads the dishwasher, does the laundry, cleans the bathroom; etcetera. Start by telling him you want him to share in the burden. Ask him if he is serious about the “cuckold thing.” By simply asking this question at the right time, you will have made the connection between the mundane and the titillating. Tell him specifically what you want him to do and when. Start with something simple and doable, but DO NOT let a day go by where he slips without confronting him about it. Another common area ripe for leveraging is those long overdue projects around the house that have languished, perhaps because of his procrastination. Pick one. Ask how long it would take to reasonably get it done. If he responds to your inquiry thusly, “If I work on it two to three hours each Saturday, I could have it done by…” then insist that he do so. On Friday, remind him, perhaps with a text. Again, when the weekend comes, immediately confront him if he is not on it as agreed. And finally, a third activity can simply be to add a titillating component to everyday activities. Perhaps that activity is something challenging, something you are not sure you can get him to do. The ways to do this are endless. An example is to tell him you are tired of him peeing on the seat or spattering the floor in front of the toilet. Tell him it is ridiculous that you have had to clean up after him and that you won’t be doing it any longer. In fact, tell him you insist that he sit to pee. He will balk at first, of course. Hold your ground. The next paragraph speaks to how you can do that.
When you introduce these new demands, make sure if at all possible to do so within or at least on the heels of a conversation about cuckolding. I cannot overemphasize how much more likely it is that he will agree to your requirements if you do so. As mentioned above, you know well that you won’t have to wait long for him to bring up the subject. Your job is to seize on that opportunity to introduce something that is part of your daily lives to leverage, and in this way, make it real. The very first time he fails to comply with something you have required and he has agreed to, you need to Call his Bluff on it, whether it was a simple household chore, a project around the house, or some titillating requirement you discovered or thought up. Point out that it was he who first introduced the whole cuckold thing and he is the one who constantly brings it up. Ask him if he is serious about it or just fooling around. Tell him to do as you have asked and as he has agreed or you don’t want to hear another word about this fantasy he keeps referring to. Don’t be afraid to call his bluff. Don’t delay in doing so. Decide ahead of time exactly what you will say to challenge how serious he truly is about the cuckold interest when he fails to perform as agreed. You will be surprised at how quickly he will turn around and begin complying with your requirements, and as always, success breeds success.
Another powerful tool is bargaining. I am going to suggest that you look for every opportunity to bargain. Bargaining is an exercise of control and a great way to show you have the upper hand. Getting into the habit of bargaining with low-level things will reap huge rewards down the road. Avoid giving up things for free and enhance his sense of value for you and everything about you. Let’s talk about some great ways to bargain.
The most obvious and most effective bargaining chip you have is sex, in pretty much any form. This is not limited to the act of sex, or even foreplay. It is the exercise and use of your sex appeal in any manifestation. Certainly, you can be very overt, for example: offering to give him a handjob if he mows the lawn before company arrives on Saturday. But there are far more subtle and powerful ways to bargain. This may be hard to get your head wrapped around, but you can quite easily get to a place where you are bargaining to get him to do something of your choosing, and in return he gets to see you naked and give you a full body massage! Admittedly, this may be down the road a bit, but it puts into perspective how much you have to bargain with. Rewards, bargaining chips, such as that mentioned above will become particularly useful as you advance in your cuckold exploration. Trust me, if you limit access to things that have long since been taken for granted, meanwhile a gentleman friend other than your husband/partner has full access to you, it will generate a good bit of healthy jealousy and revive a level of interest and fascination you have not experienced since the earliest stages of dating. The interesting thing about bargaining, is that there is an intrinsic benefit to engaging in it quite apart from what you get out of your end of the deal. It demonstrates the degree to which you are in charge, enhances the perceived value of things otherwise forgotten and can boost your own self-esteem greatly. It can also help you accomplish things and advance your progress greatly by creating an incentive for your man to do as you ask, and give him an excuse to do things he wants to do anyway deep down but is embarrassed to admit. When do you bargain? You bargain any time the opportunity comes up. What do bargain with? You bargain with anything. Get in the habit of constantly being on the lookout for an opportunity to bargain. People naturally value things less that come for free and without strings. Don’t give things away for free and don’t miss out on the opportunity and benefits of bargaining.
Finally, let’s talk about the peer pressure aspect of humiliation/peer pressure, one of our three primary motivators. Most if not all cuckold men fantasize about being outed about their interest in cuckolding. For many women, having their fantasies exposed is terrifying and the furthest thing from sexually appealing. Not the case for men who are interested in cuckolding. They may in reality never actually want to go there, but they fantasize about it all the time and do like dancing around the edges. This can be yet another powerful tool to get what you want and advance your control. Obviously, having his cuckold nature revealed to someone other than you could be very humiliating, which as we have established can be both frightening, and titillating. You can threaten to or hint at doing this in order to both impose your will, and to rev him up. Some women have friends in their lives they trust enough to actually out their man in front of. If this is you, congratulations. But for most, it is a matter of threatening and flirting with doing so. The following paragraph gives some examples of how to do so.
Any time you are in the presence of others and dabble however subtly with exercising your control, you are flirting with the idea of leveraging peer pressure. If for example, you have company over and you not so gently suggest that your man freshen up drinks or otherwise carry out some serving role, he has two choices. He can balk at it, and risk making a scene, or he can just try to shrug it off and act as if it were a polite request with no other meaning attached. How assertive you are is up to you. How much heat do you want to apply? The thing is, if he balks, he will only bring more attention to the matter. It is better to appear to be choosing to respond to your request than make an issue and have people understand you were actually given an order. I remember one couple I know had a friend of the female half over for dinner. Afterward, drinks were served. At some point, the two women began talking about men, as if the gentleman half was not even there. The mere subject of the conversation became uncomfortable. Eventually the gentleman found himself in the kitchen when the subject of how attractive a man with a nice butt is. How could he just walk back out, reappearing in the living room in the middle of that conversation? He dilly dallied around in the kitchen until suddenly his girlfriend inquired in a loud voice, “What are you doing in there, hiding? He had two choices, continue to hide and be seen to do so, or go back out to the living room and act natural. He chose the latter. Once there, the female half said, “Don’t act all shy and shocked. You know I am an “ass woman”. He shrugged it off, thinking she certainly would move off the subject and the heat would pass. But he was wrong. “In fact, why don’t you turn around and give us a good look at your.” He again tried to pass it off as if she were just joking, but she persisted. “I am serious, just one quick twirl around.” Again he was faced with a choice, comply and play it off as if he was actually choosing to play a fun game, or have her turn up the heat and create more of an issue. “Fine”, He said, and gave a quick twirl. “Happy now.” “Not exactly,” she said. “Turn back around and stop.” By now he had headed down a certain road. To change course would seem odd. It was like watching himself in a dream as he complied. “Pull your shorts down,” she said. “Just for a second. C’mon, just do it.” And so he did. Both girls burst out laughing and applauding. And that, is how peer pressure can work. By not wanting to create a scene, he was lulled into complying. Ironic. The same strategy can work when out to dinner. When the waiter or waitress comes to take the order, order for him. Better still, change his order after he gives it. He will not dare take you on about it in front of the server. Why not? Peer pressure. Every time you use this tool, you are creating another situation where you are imposing your will. Become more familiar with it and add it to your bag of tricks.
So, what did we talk about this week? First, the strategy of Making it Real by integrating real-world tasks that make your life easier with the cuckold dynamic. We spoke about Calling his Bluff whenever you meet resistance, asking just how serious he is about this cuckold fantasy anyway. We also talked about Bargaining and how it raises your value by never letting him take anything for granted. Start bargaining whenever you can. And finally, the strategy of Peer Pressure was introduced, pointing out that often you can gain compliance by making a demand at a time where his refusal would make more of a scene than acquiescing.
Before we part, one reminder: Remember to capture your thoughts in your journal. Have you made any entries about men you have found attractive? Is there anything particular in this week’s post that caught your attention? Write it down! Trust me, the power of documenting your thoughts is more profound than you can imagine.
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