Hello,
The first post of this column is so important. If you have not read it go back and do so; it was posted on May 24th, 2017. We talked about how the “fake it until you make it” approach allows you to begin feeling more comfortable with activities and dynamics that at first feel quite foreign, particularly when you start simple. We talked about getting points on the board, meaning it is important for you to start exercising some influence over your man at least three times a day, even if the activity is quite simple and non-sexual. We talked about how engaging his sexual drive first will make him more compliant. We learned that you WILL encounter some push-back and how to deal with it. And finally, we spoke about two specific activities which have powerful impact on securing your control in the relationship; ass-play and cum-play. If you have done these things, or once you have, the post you are now reading is where you can go next to continue your journey... and the fun!
Whether you just learned about cuckolding and your head is still spinning, or you have actually gone so far as to be with another man besides your husband or partner, moving forward is always challenging. Pushing boundaries is what this is all about. That is part of the thrill. Let’s talk a little bit about how to do that, beginning at an elementary level.
1. Baby Steps
Nothing is likely to happen in one fell swoop. You have each spent a lifetime adopting the way you conduct yourselves and interact with others, and probably a fair bit of time establishing patterns regarding how you relate to each other. Realistically, changing these things happens slowly. Any notion to the contrary is just fantasy, which makes for good reading but does not help any couple get down the road. Let’s understand right now that most of the time there is a difference between fantastically titillating stories and the many incremental ways to truly explore and enjoy the world of cuckolding, particularly early on. Most women are not going to immediately respond well to the suggestion out of the blue, that she: 1) Find some stranger to do, 2) Bring him home, 3) Take complete control of the relationship, and 4) Fuck the hell out of that person in front of her husband/partner. There are so many reasons this won’t happen at the outset that they are too numerous to list. But among these are: What it says about you and how it conflicts with the person you were told you should be and strived to become your entire life, the value you place on your primary relationship and fear you might put it in jeopardy, and simply not knowing how to begin. Lack of confidence is huge. Thoughtfully and incrementally exploring and bringing about subtle changes can result in a completely different dynamic and open up an entirely different world to explore. The most fascinating revelations will be what you learn about yourself with cuckolding being the backdrop. Let’s spend a bit of time today talking about how to proceed on this front.
2. Have a plan
Have a plan, or at least an approach. Consistency is key. Get a small notebook or little journal, small enough to drop in your purse. Doing this act, just choosing to do this, will make this real instead of simply an idea. Stop what you are doing right now. If you don’t have such a notebook or journal you can use for this purpose (and this purpose alone), grab a piece of paper and write a note to yourself to go get one today. It does not have to be anything fancy, but it is important. Don’t feel like you have to write War and Peace every day. Don’t let this be daunting or represent work. In this journal, you will write simple notes, bullets even. Perhaps the first page will have only a few entries you pulled from reading this column, such as: get points on the board, or give three orders a day, or mention playing with his ass sometime this week. Later you can put down thoughts, feelings or ideas of your own. Doing this can make the difference between being stuck in the mode of thinking about this stuff and never doing it, always asking yourself why it is so hard to begin, or actually moving toward something you have told yourself you want to try. As always, you have a decision. Decide to get a notebook today and write down at least one thing in it each day.
3. Keep your eyes peeled
Many married or committed women have drastically reduced the frequency with which they check out other guys let alone flirt with them. Doing so changes the entire vibe they put off and checking out of the game certainly changes the way they see themselves. Soon many women lose touch with their own sexuality and sex appeal. For many women, it may have been years since they engaged in the delicate dance of flirting at any level. Some are so disconnected from this aspect of life they would not recognize interest being expressed by some gentleman if it came in a formal memo in the first-class mail. This last recommendation is simple, but don’t underestimate the importance or potential of it. As you go through your day, keep your eyes peeled for gentlemen you find attractive. Don’t necessarily ask yourself that daunting question of whether or not you would allow yourself to be bedded down by him. Just be on the look-out throughout your day for men you find attractive. Perhaps it is just a specific aspect you notice which you find appealing, such as his smile, his laugh, his style of dress, or some specific part of his body such as his hands (or something else). Jot down in your notebook what you notice. Soon this form of people watching will have subtle, then significant results. The vibe you throw off will change entirely. You will begin receiving (and noticing) that you get more compliments or looks. Your awareness of your appeal to gentlemen will increase, as will your confidence. And, you will soon find your thoughts going places that they may not have in years.
As always, I am going to point out to you that you have a choice. My recommendations are often simple and easy to do. There is no reason not to do them if you actually want to explore this fascinating area of life. Make a commitment to getting a little notebook or journal and keeping it with you. Look over the goals or ideas you have placed in it throughout your day. And finally, at least once a day for the next week, make an entry about a gentleman you find attractive. If you find your thoughts gravitating toward one specific person, that is fine. Just write what you observe, think, or feel.
In conclusion: Perhaps this post seems tame. But remember, we are not simply reading here for the purpose of being entertained. In that world, little is shocking or challenging. This column is about making this real, about starting down the road of exploration. Trust me, we will be turning up the heat later. For now, do the things I recommend. The groundwork you are laying will reap huge benefits in the future.
Cuckold Coach - CCoach@mail.com
