Have you and your husband entertained exploring the world of cuckolding but just canít seem to get off the ground? Do you struggle with being assertive while he can't seem to give in to the relationship he claims to want and likely introduced in the first place? Do you stop and start repeatedly, swearing to abandon it, then finding yourself entertaining it all over again? The first thing you need to recognize is that changing the course of a relationship with respect to who is in charge is hard work. Expect set-backs and struggle initially. That said, it ABSOLUTELY can be done, even for you. And the rewards are worth it.
Have you heard the phrase "Fake it until' you make it"? In this sense, it means doing some things that might not feel comfortable initially, or does not seem "you" at first. Going through the motions, if you will, until an action does not feel so foreign. Here are some sure-fire ways to make it happen.
1. Get some points on the board
The only way to arrive at a given destination is to start moving in that direction. You HAVE to "DO" something. More to the point, you have to make him do something (or refrain from doing something). It is almost inconsequential what that something is. It does not even have to be something sexual, but you have to get in the habit of exercising some influence. Make it a point to tell him to do something at least three times per day to start. It could be as simple as taking the garbage out, running to the store for you, or some other low-level household chore. The point is for you to get comfortable exercising control. This little strategy is the first step. If you cannot do it, then this dynamic is not for you. On the other hand, if you do this, several things will happen. I have seen it time and time again with women I counsel. You WILL become more comfortable expressing your wishes, exercising influence (which becomes control), and you will soon find yourself asking more of him simply out of convenience. You will know you are on your way when at some point you realize you need to pick something up at the store, but don't want to go, then you find yourself having him make the run instead. Or, when you notice the floor needs a quick pass of the vacuum but you are having a hard time getting motivated to do it and you casually get him to do it. Eventually this practice picks up momentum and takes on a life of its own. Every time you exercise influence, it makes it easier the next time, for you and for him. You have a decision to make. Do you want to make this happen? Do this three times a day starting today and begin your journey.
2. Dealing with push-back 101
You WILL get push-back. This is the thing that causes couples to stomp on the brakes or take a U-turn. You HAVE to have strategies to deal with it. The first thing I will tell you is closely connected to the strategy above. As mentioned the more times you exercise your will and succeed, the easier it gets. That means setting the stage for winning, stacking the deck in your favor is essential. There are basically three motivating forces you will be leveraging. The first is his sexual desire. For the moment, we will focus on that. Have you noticed how things he would never entertain most of the time are suddenly okay if he is feeling particularly randy? One day he is pissed off if he thinks you are flirting, and the next day he is encouraging you to do so. You can use this to your benefit. If you want to exercise a bit of control and make him ripe for acquiescing to it, get him a little stimulated first, and it does not take much. Fire off a few racy text messages to him during the day, then follow them with a request for him to do something for you. Again, it does not matter what it is. It could be as simple as throwing a load of laundry in. The point is to get him in that cuckold mind-set. Do this and you will go a long way toward avoiding push-back. Besides, I don't have to tell you how hard it is to simply drop out of nowhere and start barking orders. A little ground-work makes all the difference. Later we will talk about the other two motivators: embarrassment/peer pressure, and calling his bluff.
3. Dealing with push-back, the next level
Above we spoke about the underlying motivators that can be leveraged to diminish the likelihood of push-back. Here I will talk about two specific activities, which at first might seem extreme and difficult to bring about. Trust me. I will help you get there. Do these two things and I guarantee you will not get push-back. Think about it, doing away with that hurdle you most dread, push-back. How nice would that be? These two activities are not "ways of operating." Rather, they are activities which have a strong impact on a man's psyche, an impact which has long-lasting residual effects. They are ass-play and cum-play. Let's take them one at a time.
Here is the first thing you need to know and accept. ALL cuckold men fantasize about their ass being played-with. It is at once terrifying to them and taboo/erotic. Receiving anything "there" is as symbolic of turning the tables as anything you might do. On top of that, it is highly stimulating to men physically and boarders on addictive once the initial resistance is overcome. There are many ways to engage and leverage this fact, but they all represent you being the person in charge. So, how do you introduce it? He has no doubt expressed interest in playing with you back there, and has likely done so. The next time he brings it up, ask why you never get to play with him there. His responses may vary widely, but do not be surprised if he expresses reluctance..and don't take it seriously. He is not "supposed to" be interested in that sort of thing. He may also be surprised to learn that you are. Be persistent in your interest even if he does not jump on it (so to speak) or agree to it. If you can leave room for the idea that he is simply relenting to it because you are interested, you are on your way. It will become obvious soon enough how much he likes it. Your task is simple: somehow bring up the topic, convince him you are interest in it and revisit it until he agrees. Remember, ALL cuckold men fantasize about their ass being played with; all of them. From that point on, you have a tool that ABSOLUTELY puts you in the dominant role. You can use your hand, a toy, eventually a strap-on, or my favorite; a plug. Returning to the reason we brought this up, to overcome resistance, what I will tell you is that you will absolutely never hear a peep of sass out of him so long as he has a butt plug in place. The other added advantage of a plug is that you can require him to leave it in place for long periods of time. This means you are able to ensure your dominance and control is affecting him without you having to do a single thing. You don't even have to be present! You can also use it as a punishment. You can even make him wear it under his clothes out in public. The possibilities are endless. We will return to the subject of plugs later. For now, get him to let you play with his ass.
The next activity is cum-play. As with ass-play, it can be exercised in an almost endless number of ways. Cum has an almost magical quality about it. It is the substance of life. Oddly, men have a natural aversion to it, particularly in those moments right after they have released. As with so many other elements of the cuckold lifestyle however, there is a love/hate relationship. Have you noticed how many aspects of this interest are seemingly in conflict? At the root, he is both jealous and turned on by the possibility of you being with another man. These two things seem irreconcilable. Yet, it is that very conflict that results in the stimulation and edginess. So it is with cum-play. I will walk you through how you can leverage this fascinating and powerful phenomenon step by step. Before we begin however, you must know something about cuckold men which will put cum-play in perspective. They fantasize about being forced to go down on you after another man has been there. I know, hard to believe at first but it is true. In fact, it is so common that there is a name for it, "cream pie." That is the ultimate manifestation of cum play. Of course, you are likely a long way from there. But, that does not mean your husband has not fantasized about it.
In the meantime, you can start down the road of leveraging this incredibly powerful control tool, and I will tell you how. For now, we will keep it simple. First, you need to catch him when he is very horny. You can help bring this about by not having sex for a few days encouraging him to refrain from masturbating (with the promise of a great Friday evening for example), and sending naughty, flirtatious texts. As you lead up to the time you are together, make sure to tell him how much you are looking forward to it, needing it. Tell him it is a huge stress reliever for you. Then, once you begin, your goal is crystal clear: make him cum in you as fast as you possibly can. You want him to cum so fast that he is embarrassed and feels guilty about leaving you hanging. This is a tool you will use later for other purposes, but for the time being, there is a very specific reason for which you will do it. You are immediately going to tell him you want him to go down on you so you can cum also. Again, I am going to ask you to TRUST ME. Very little is as embarrassing to a man as cumming too quickly. Despite how difficult it is, he will immediately go down on you to divert attention from his little accident. Failing to satisfy a woman goes right to the heart of a husband's manhood.
He WILL go down on you if you tell him to in this circumstance. Hopefully he brings you to a great orgasm. If he does not, fake it. Yes, that is right, fake it. I do not say that lightly and I do not encourage that practice as a matter of course. But, it is the ultimate positive reinforcement for him. Do this and you will have crossed a major hurdle, making him come in contact with his own cum. Later, you will make mention of how much it turned you on for him to go down on you after he came in you. You will tell him that doing so was responsible for your powerful orgasm. After you have done this once, you will be able to repeat it. As with the ass play, you will continue to reference it, sharing how much of a turn on it was. At some point, you can tease him about it. Tell him you can't believe he did it. If you have a hard time teasing him in person, do it on a text. This is a jump off point for much more extreme cum-play.
Do this for now and later I will help you take it to the next level.