Hello,
I found this in my wife's old diary yesterday. It was an online journal that she kept (that I didn't know about obviously) while we were dating in college. It's been 4 years since then and we are married now for almost 2. It seems she was mad at me and with good reason. I kissed her best friend but it was while both of us were pissed drunk. It meant nothing and was over real quick. I apologized but had no idea it stung her that much. Read the entry I copied and pasted below to see what I mean;
I did something 2 nights ago that I am extremely ashamed about. I don't want to talk about it with anybody because I am afraid it will change my friends' perception of me so I will just write it here and leave it behind me. My roommate and I had sex with 4 guys on New Years' Eve. I don't know why I did it other than the fact hat I was really horny and probably felt that it would be a good way to get revenge on Jeremy. What was I thinking!!! I have only been with 2 guys....well now 6, but only 2 up till recently! I even let them fuck me without a condom.....I never even let Jeremy do that. For god's sake 3 of them came inside me!!
What if i'm pregnant!!! I'm so stupid, I can't believe this happened. We were just having some afterhour drinks...how did it turn into this. Marc was the first. I remember him kissing me. Jeremy would die if he knew...he hates Marc! He took my pants off and fingered me, he said he wanted to be inside me, I told him to "do it". He turned me around and pulled my panties aside and started to rub his cock on me. I told him to wait because I thought he would put a condom on but it was too late, he was already in me. he stared to pump, he groaned a few times and told me that my pussy was tight but felt good. I just laid there and let him fuck me thinking how pissed Jeremy would be when he found out. Across the room Cathy was getting fucked from behind by Jake and she was blowing Keith. Brad was just standing there watching until Marc told him to come over and join us. I said no! It was supposed to be just Marc, it was supposed to be 1 time, it was just to get back a that dick head Jeremy! I don't know why I let Cathy talk me into it. Maybe because she had done it a couple of times and told me how exciting it was.
She said c'mon you'll enjoy it, just let it happen, don't let me do this alone. Marc told me how wet I was as he moved in and out of me. I knew I was excited but I don't know what got over me. I told Brad to come over, I undid his pants an put his cock in my mouth. Marc was the first guy to ever cum inside me, it wasn't planned (so he says), the excitement just got to him. You think you would remember the first time a guy came in you but all I remember is Marc grabbing my ass really hard and yelling fuck....ohh fuck.
I was in a daze and Brad had his hands on my head so it was all a little crazy. I new Marc had come but I didn't really know he came inside me until he pulled out and said sorry it was an accident. I just wanted Brad to finish so we could be done. The bastard didn't even warn me he just came in my mouth. Before I could move, Keith entered me from behind and the rest was a blurr. All 4 guys fucked us for a couple of hours in a variety of positions until they each came at least 3 times. They were watching my pleasure response that my face gave away as they pumped away at me. It was humiliating. I was used as a cum recepticle for 4 cocks and they just kept switching back and forth. The thing that is hardest to accept is that I liked it and wanted it to continue.
I was also too ashamed and exhausted to object so I just let them move me around and use me for their pleasure. They were very gentil but it still made me feel like a whore. Keith sat over my face and asked that I suck his balls. Marc told me to hold my pussy open wide for him while he pounded away like an animal for the 2nd time. He told me that my tight little pussy was beautiful and that it was hard to resist. Jack had the biggest cock and it kinda hurt everytime he entered me, but also felt good.
He was proud of it and went slow when he saw it hurt which was nice. He also kept asking me if I liked his fat dick. He was the last to fuck me. He told me that he was sure Jeremy had never fucked me so good or made me come like he did. The others cheered him on and he put my legs over his shoulders and told me that he loved my tight cunt and that he was going to spray his load all over my little pussy. That alone almost made me come.
He pulled out, grabbed my hair and pulled my head up so I could watch him grunt and shoot his cum all over my pussy. By the time they were done I had tasted cum from all 4 guys and our pussies were sore and covered in sperm. The guys thanked us for a good time and were good enough to clean up and ask us if we needed anything as they left. I have never felt so humiliated and ashamed in my life. I took a shower and cried......partly because of being used as a whore, partly because I came 4 times, HARD, so deep down I knew that actually enjoyed it and couldn't lie to myself later and say it was just a mistake or that it was bad judgement. I will put this behind me and never tell anyone about it..............who am I.
After reading that I was shaking. I wanted to get angry and yell at her but that would mean revealing that I snooped into her private life/thoughts and that would open up another can of worms. Also, I have been introducing cuckold situations into our bedroom talk and I can see that she responds but never admits she likes it. If I revealed this to her she might close up forever. Then there is the fact that I came 4 times to this last night. I liked that she did it as much as I hate the idea. I think I'll leave it for now, probably for many years and when the time is right tell her about it.
Jeremy
